Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I Escaped From Prison....

Yes, you’ve read the title right. I escaped from prison several years ago. Even though, I’m only 28 years old.  The type of Prison that I’m talking about is not a physical place or location. For most of my life I was in an invisible prison.  The definition for the word prison is a state of confinement or captivity. Although, I was walking around physically free I was tormented by fear.  I remember being so tormented with fear at night that I would sneak into my parents room and sleep on the floor. I was afraid of the dark. Ironically, I begin to crave watching scary movies. I was addicted to reading horror books “Fear Street” and “Goosebumps” series. When I became a teenager I would be afraid to stay home by myself especially at night. Sometimes I was so scared at night I would sneak into my younger sister’s bed so I could sleep until the age of 18. It got worse all of these tormenting thoughts would run through my head and I would imagine seeing stuff. A few months before I turned 19 years old I moved away to Alaska and got married to my husband who was in the Air Force. He worked the grave yard shift.  I would stay home all night by myself.  Boy, was I horrified I couldn't even enjoy the day time because I was afraid of being home alone at night. I would turn on every light, constantly look around the corners, and turn the television up loud. When I had our car I would leave during the middle of night and go to the grocery store just to get out of the house. Some of you who may be reading this now are probably thinking this is too extreme. I don't have that problem. Some of you may not be held captive by fear like I was. But, you may be bound by Eating Disorders, Alcohol, Hatred, Drugs, Cigarettes, Addictions, Anger, Lust, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Low Self Esteem, Insecurity, Cutting, Shopping Lifting, Clubbing, False Religions, Lying, Stealing, Homosexuality, Lesbianism, Rejection, Jealousy, and the list goes on. The story doesn't stop here and it definitely gets better. I had other issues as well but, the fear was the biggest one. I got tired of my life being the way it was at the age of 19. So, I decided to give my life to Christ for real. I made up my mind. I knew Jesus was the only one who could change my life. He could set me free from this spiritual and mental prison. I knew that the devil was the one tormenting me with these thoughts. In the bible, John 10:10 says “The Thief(devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I(Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” So I begin to develop a relationship with God. I begin to study my bible and do what I learned. I learned how to pray. I begin to sense God speaking to me. The things I was learning in the bible begin to transform my thinking. I would listen to sermons on cds and television that dealt with my issues. I begin to really realize that Jesus didn’t just die on the cross so I could have a ticket to Heaven. But, he also paid the price for my  sin, healing, freedom, and deliverance from the devil. I begin to see changes in my life. It wasn't overnight. But, I finally was experiencing freedom. And now when the thoughts came to me. I knew exactly what to do. So now it's been a few years. Since I have escaped from prison. That is why I ride the Jesus Bandwagon. No amount of therapy or pills could have done what Jesus did for me. For all of you who are reading this. There is nothing to hard in your life that Jesus can't fix. Even if you brought it upon yourself. But, you have to make up your mind. Will You Continue to let the Devil Enslave You or will You Turn to Christ and Receive Spiritual Freedom?? If you need prayer or have questions please feel free to contact me at jazzibeautyqueen@gmail.com

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