Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dysfunctional Families In The Black Culture...

I lived in the metro area of Atlanta most of my life. Majority of the schools I attended and neighborhoods I grew up in were all Black.  Many people in my family grew up without their fathers. Many had deadbeat dads. As a result of absent fathers and dysfunctional relationships it affected the children growing up.  Most of the ladies in my family had babies when they were teens. Most of the guys in my family were involved heavily in the streets and in trouble with the law.  We don't have many high school graduates and only a few have been to college.  It's the norm at family gatherings to see people drunk and high.  I'm not trying to bash my family because I love them & no one is perfect.  The point I'm trying to stress that this isn't normal. This isn't the way a healthy family is supose to function. Unfortunately, you see this alot in the Black Culture. The other day I was visiting family who I haven't seen in years. My son who is 6 years old was very tired. So he laid his head down on his father lap.  This family member said that my son was spoil and that we need to make sure he was tough..Just because he was lying down on his father's lap. Now this person who was given advice has about 8 children and has no relationship with any of them. I sternly and politely told him..That my child is not spoiled. He's well balanced..Well Loved..And just because my child is lying down on his father doesn't mean that he's not tough.  Many black people and men view a male who displays his affection/love for someone as weak.  Which is not true.  That is why many black children grow up without really receiving affection from their parents.  They don't know how to love back and express their love. It affects their childhood and even how they intereact with one another.  Many are searching in the wrong places for love. Thats why many relationships and marriages are in the state that they are. Their is hope.  My husband and I refuse to be another statistic. My husband grew up without his father. But, he had made the decision that he wanted to be a good father and husband.  We display our love for one another and because of that our child feels secure.  I'm just sharing my opinion on this subject because I'm tired of seeing the dysfunction in our families.  Generation after Generation are being affected.  We have to make a choice to break the cycle starting with ourselves!

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